Tuesday, January 11, 2011

love dare day 3

What an amazing time we are having! You ladies are inspiring! Well done on your love dare! Today, my specific act of kindness was to bring Danny his favorite candy bar home. I had to stop and grab a few things from the store and in the checkout I thought "hey this would be unexpected" So I grabbed one up and was rewarded with a smile..love that. I do have to confess I was a bit tired today and felt cranky as the day went on..my dog has been barking for two days straight and I have become a bit edgy.. I found that I too was getting a bit snippy and once again caught myself grumbling about that "stupid dog". My hubby made a comment and I started to nip a bit and stopped..I realized that things that are out of my control are causing me to be unkind. wow! How often does this happen and I don't even realize it? Yes! This is working! I want to be honest here because if we all behaved as we should this dare wouldn't even be necessary... lol How often do we stop, really look and correct ourselves? I wonder how often we justify and don't "count" what we do but have no problem naming the faults of others? I raised my hand just so ya know! lol Dare 2- thank you..you taught me that things I cant control dont justify my being cranky..lol day 3
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.
Romans 12:10
Love is not selfish
"If there were ever a word that basically means opposite of love, it is selfishness. It is something that is in all of us from birth. Almost every sinful action ever committed can be traced back to selfish motive. It is a trait we hate in other people but justify in ourselves. Yet, you cannot point out the ways your spouse is selfish without admitting that you can be selfish too. That would be hypocritical.
Why do we have such a low standard for ourselves but high expectations for our mate? the answer is painful..we are all selfish.
When a husband puts his interests, desires and priorities in front of his wife, that's a sign of selfishness. When a wife constantly complains about the time and energy she spends meeting the needs of her husband, that's a sign of selfishness. But, "love does not seek it's own"(1 Corinthians 13:5)
Loving couples-those who are enjoying the full purpose of marriage are bent on taking good care of the other flawed human they get to share life with. That's because true love looks for ways to say "yes."
One ironic aspect of selfishness is that even generous actions can be selfish if the motive is to gain bragging rights or receive a reward. If you do even a good thing to deceitfully manipulate your husband or wife, you are still being selfish.....the bottom line is that you either make the decision out of love for others or love for yourself...
When you prioritize the well being of your mate, there is a resulting fulfillment that cannot be duplicated by selfish actions. This is a benefit that God created and reserves for those who genuinely demonstrate love. The truth is, when you relinquish your rights for the sake of your mate, you get a chance to lose yourself to the greater purpose of marriage.
Nobody knows you better than your spouse. And that means no one will be quicker to recognize a change when you deliberately start sacrificing your wants and wishes to make sure his or hers needs are being met.
"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conciet, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important that yourselves"(Philippians 2:3).
Today's dare
Whatever you put your time energy and money into will become more important to you. Its hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with reastraning from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says" I was thinking of you today."
Sorry it took so long to post but I want to fill you in with how I am doing too! Blessings for your day! Thanks for stopping by! love ya mean it! Stephanie
flickrimage/book excerpts from Alex and Stephen Kendrick


Julie said...

Good Evening Stephanie. Well, I had to think about the "unexpected gesture" today. I decided to send a phone pic across the miles to my hubby~ wearing a shirt he really likes and telling him how much he means to me. He was appreciative. :-) Then tonite he texted and wanted the recipe for a "one-dish oven spaghetti" I make...so, helped him with that. He said it was yummy!
What discoveries about love did I make today? That a wife can remember something that her hubby has specifically said he "really liked", and show him that she was listening...
What specifically did you do in this dare? Besides the pic I sent a message telling him how much he means to me... I let him know he is my hero.
How did you show kindness? I told him how grateful I was to him for giving up the comforts of home, wife, family, dogs,etc and being willing to go it alone for our welfare and comforts for the time being with this new job. Looking forward to Day Three!

The Whispering Creek House said...

Julie! thats wonderful! I love that you are finding ways to express your love across the miles! It must feel like your courting! God bless you both on day three!I figured I would respond to you here in the comments so as to keep your "secret"! Hugs!Stephanie

Lisa notes... said...

The Dare is making a difference for me, too. I found myself having a little sweeter tone tonight about something that I might have taken offense to even a few days ago.

My act of kindness was so small that I hate to even mention it. ha. But I know it's something that mattered to my husband, and something I don't usually do, so that counts, right? :-)

Here's what I've discovered though: I need to be doing this with my teenage daughter, too! It looks a little different with her, but I definitely need to practice not being negative with her, and today I did an act of kindness for her that I ordinarily wouldn't have done.

So, we shall see... Moving on to Day 3... which may be harder since we've been locked in the house for 3 days with snow in Alabama (highly unusual!).

Donna said...

I struggled today with the negativity...I did take my hubby eggs and coffee unexpectedly and he was quite pleased. I took the girls to the library after school and hung out for awhile. It was nice...now to get back on the positive bandwagon. Looking forward to shopping tomorrow!!

Uncovered Ruby said...

I'm not doing the Love Dare with you right now Stephanie, but I just wanted to tell you that this is AWESOME! I have the book, am ashamed to say I've had it for a few years now and haven't cracked the cover. You've motivated me to do something about that, and I'll continue to come here for inspiration as I begin it on my own. God's blessings on your marriage as you go the path! Lisa;-)

Dianna said...

Stephanie, I'm sorry to be so late in checking in. Here it is day 3 and I'm just posting about day 2. Here goes!
What specifically did I do in this dare? I came down with a virus, but there was some work on the closing of the books for our small business that needed done. I know it is something that Carroll wasn't looking forward to...so that is how I spent my day yesterday...with a good attitude. I had a couple of questions that I needed to ask him so I couldn't finish it up yesterday...but he was SO pleased with coming home and finding that it was almost completed! He in turn made my day! :-)

What discoveries about love did I make? That putting my hubby's needs before my own brings a joy to my heart that nothing else can.

How did I show kindness? By putting the needs of my husband before my own.

I wanted to mention that Carroll hasn't caught on yet that I'm doing this dare. Since we've done this together before I am guessing before much longer he will catch on...but knowing him, he'll not say a word and just keep loving the benefits! ;)

Out in the Fields said...

I'm really loving this! I look forward each morning to the post to see what I "get" to do today:) Thats huge for me!!! I put a list of 10 things I appreciate about him on his mirror so when he got home that was the first thing he saw. He hasn't said anything and doesn't know that I'm doing this but that's ok.