Sunday, January 16, 2011

love dare / day 8/ love is not jealous..

Oh! love is in the air!! Glory to God for His great mercy and grace! That by His hands we are blessed and our hearts are filled with the love for our spouses! Granted, with the help of the Holy Spirit, may it always be we cannot do this alone! Love believes the best...was yesterday's dare..I enjoyed this one as I do try to look at the positives about my hubby rather than dwell on the negative..I don't like to talk or think about Danny in a depreciating way..I have seen what it can do to can kill love..I know what I am and if he can do that for me and overlook my negatives..well, I am his biggest fan! I want him to feel his best and know I support him no matter what (even when I disagree). I want to build him up! Not tear him down! What goes on with him is a reflection of me, I believe. I like that. Day 8... what you got for me? Day 8

Love is as strong as death, it's jealousy unyielding as the grave, It burns like blazing fire.-Song of Solomon 8:6 (NIV)

Jealousy comes from the root word for zeal and means "to burn with intense fire." The Scripture pointedly say, "Wrath is fierce and anger is a flood, but who can stand before jealousy?"

(Proverbs 27:4)

There are two forms of jealousy: a legitimate jealousy based upon love, and a illegitimate jealousy based upon envy. Legitimate jealousy sparks when someone you love, who belongs to you, turns his or her heart away and replaces you with someone else.

The Bible describes God as having a kind of righteous jealousy for His people. He is not envious of what we have (since he already owns all of that) It's that He deeply longs for us, desiring for us to keep Him as our first love. He doesn't want us to let anything take precedence over Him in our hearts. The Bible warns us not to worship anything but Him because "the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God" (Deuteronomy 4: 24)

With that established, we will shift our focus to the illegitimate kind of jealousy that is in opposition to love- the one that is rooted in selfishness. This is to be jealous of someone, to be "moved with envy".

Jealousy is a common struggle. It is sparked when someone else upstages you and gets something you want. This can be very painful depending how selfish you are. Instead of congratulating them, you fume in anger and think ill of them. If your not careful, jealousy slithers like a viper into your heart and strikes your motivations and relationships. It can poison you from living a life of love God intended.

If you don't diffuse your anger by learning to love others, you may eventually begin plotting against them. The Bible says that envy leads to fighting and quarreling, and every evil thing.(James 3:16, 4:1-2).

When you were married, you were given the role of becoming your spouses cheerleader and captain of his or her fan club. Both of you became one and were to share in the enjoyment of the other. But, if selfishness rules, any good thing happening to only one of you can be a catalyst for envy rather that congratulations.

Because love is not selfish and puts others first, it refuses to let jealousy in. It leads you to celebrate the successes of your spouse rather that resenting them. It is time to let love, humility and gratefulness destroy any jealousy that spring up in your heart. It's time to let your mate's success draw you closer together and give you greater opportunities to show genuine love.

Today's Dare

Determine to become your spouse's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set you heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday's list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.

Questions for you:

  • How hard was it to destroy the list?

  • What are some positive experiences that you can celebrate in the life of your mate?

  • How can you encourage them toward future successes?

I want to say before I go..please keep checking in here and sharing if you can, how things are going..remember even if there are things that are hard to do right them anyway..if you need prayer please allow for others to pray for you..lets hold one another up and be blessed! thanks for stopping by! love ya mean it Stephanie

P.S. check back in the comments I may leave you special messages there!

image countryliving /book excerptsAlex and StephenKendrick


Lisa notes... said...

Well, yesterday I felt kind of defeatist with this whole thing. Even had this nasty thought: why am *I* the one doing this alone--shouldn't my husband also be doing this for me??? Ugly, I know.

But then last night when we went to bed, he told me again that he keeps noticing how sweet I am when he doesn't even deserve it, etc. And I thought, Really???

So I'm accepting that God's grace is covering my bad attitudes and letting the good be seen over the bad.

This is SO worth it. Thanks, Stephanie, for keeping us going. I'm off to delete my list of "negatives" that we had to write yesterday, and happy to do so.

Julie said...


I got Day 7 completed, and have done day 8. My Negatives list is destroyed. (I shredded instead of burned. :-) With that shredding I prayed...not for Kurt, but for myself, that God would help me NOT to feel angst about having to "let go" of the things that I wish would change in him, but for me to look at myself and see what it is I, MYSELF, am doing to actually help the negatives I see in him I don't like...If he is acting in a certain way, then it must be a habit of RE-acting to something that is a habit in me, and his reaction is just a reflection that I am actively DOING that habit as we speak...thus a circle of old practices...GOD, don't let me wait for you to change Kurt first...WORK ON ME..make ME change the cycle...let me be the one who puts a short in that daily life circuit and blows it out of our little world...YES!!! Thank you Stephanie. This is a good matter if it makes us have to stir up negative thoughts about our husbands, if only to address and get RID of them for good. Hugs....

Out in the Fields said...

Didn't have an opp to comment on a good thing off the list...he was sick in bed all day and I thought if I went in and tried to complement him, he might throw something my way!!! I will do that today along with the new dare. Thanks, Steph!!