Wednesday, January 12, 2011

love dare/ day 4 / Thougthfulness

I am loving your comments ladies!! Your all doing great! Sounds like some wonderful things are happening! It is exciting for me to hear the details of what you doing! Good ideas..like Karen, I love that you left a message on the mirror! And Julie, nice going sending that picture message across the miles! Lisa, doing this on your daughter is excellent! As for me, today I hardly get to see my man so we have been talking on the phone when he gets breaks..its been great..I can tell in his voice that he is happy and excited to share his day..my attitude helps alot..he is feeling the support and that helps make all the sacrifice doable..giving of self feels great for everyone. Are you ready for the next dare? I am..lol Day 4
How precious also are your thoughts to me..How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.-Psalm 139:17-18
Love is thoughtful
When you first fell in love, being thoughtful came naturally. You spent hours dreaming of what your loved one looked like,wondering what he or she was doing, rehearsing impressive things to say, then enjoying sweet memories of the time you spend together, you honestly confessed,"I cant stop thinking about you."
But for most couples, things begin to change after marriage, the wife has her man; the husband has his trophy. The hunt is over and the pursuing done. You drift into focusing on you job, your friends, your problems, your personal desires, yourself. After awhile you unintentionally begin to ignore the needs of your mate. If you don't learn to be thoughtful, you end up regretting missed opportunities to demonstrate love. Thoughtlessness is a silent enemy to a loving relationship.
Lets be honest. Men struggle with thoughtfulness more that women. A man can focus like a laser on one thing and forget the rest of the world. Whereas this can benefit him in that one area, it can make him overlook other things that need his attention. A woman, on the other hand, is more multi-conscious, able to maintain an amazing awareness of many factors at once. She can talk on the phone, cook, clean house and know where the kids are all at once. Adding to this, a woman also thinks relationally.
Both of these are examples of how God designed women to complete their men. As God said at creation, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him."(Genesis 2:18) Don't ya love that we are suitable? But these differences also create opportunities for misunderstanding.
Men tend to think in headlines and say exactly what they mean.. But women think and speak between the lines. They tend to hint. A man often has to listen for what is implied if he wants the full meaning.If a couple doesn't understand this about one another, the fallout can result in endless disagreements. He is frustrated wondering why she speaks in riddles and doesn't just come out and say things. She is frustrated wondering why he is so inconsiderate and doesn't add two and two together and just figure it out. Oh mylanta!
Love requires thoughtfulness- on both sides- the kind that builds bridges through the constructive combination of patience, kindness, and selflessness. Love teaches you how to meet in the middle, to respect and appreciate how your spouse uniquely thinks. A husband should listen to his wife and learn to be considerate of her unspoken messages. A wife should learn to communicate truthfully and not say one thing while meaning another. But to often you become angry and frustrated instead, following the destructive pattern of "ready, shoot, aim." You speak harshly now and determine later if you should have said it. But the thoughtful nature of love teaches you to engage your mind before engaging your lips. Love thinks before speaking. It filters words through a grid of truth and kindness.
When was the last time you spent time thinking of how you could better understand and demonstrate love to your spouse? What immediate need can you meet? What is the next event (birthday, anniversary, holiday) can you be preparing for?
Today's Dare
Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do to help them.

Questions to answer:

  • What did you learn about yourself or your spouse by doing this today?
  • How could this become a more natural, routine, and genuinely helpful part of your lifestyle?

The photo I chose on this post is a example of how much care and thought we might put into a special event or time even our homes..what if we took this much care on our spouse? How beautiful it would be! A delight! I have assumed that only women are doing this dare..if there are men out there doing this..you rock! Hey, if you think this is something that your friends would enjoy post about it! Remind your followers too! Blessings to each of you! Love ya mean it! Stephanie

flickr image excerpts Alex and Stephen kendrick


7 comments:

Dianna said...

Hey Stephanie,
Just wanted to drop in and say that today's dare (day 3) was unattainable for me today...with all of the snow I'm unable to get out by myself. But it WILL be taken care of the first opportunity I have to get out.

Looking forward to doing tomorrow's dare though! It is easy to catch him at work!

Julie said...

HI Stephanie...
Well, I did not get out and purchase anything for Kurt to give today...I am already doing things for a care package for him, so I shall just have to let that count. I have sent him 2 care packages since He left Oct. 3. One had a quote about ATTITUDE that is one of his favorites by Chuck Swindoll. He carries a little copy of it around in his wallet. I just happened across an 8x11 copy of it and framed it to send to him. The second box had a framed pic of me with a LOVE message written in the corner of the glass at the top in sharpie...and goodies...I am sending another one which I will count for today's dare. I decided to invest into his security of my devotion to him by sending a phone photo again of a plaque over my computer that reads . "HAPPINESS is being MARRIED to your best FRIEND." with a message attached. Hope that was a good substitute for now. Looking forward to day 4. That one should be easy for me, since I do that every day. :-)
Hugs to you and thanks again for doing this!!!! It keeps me intentional!!

Donna said...

Hi there...got your vm while I was out shopping! Will try to get back to you. Since damian is working from home now, many work days are spent in flannel pjs..so i picked up a new pair for him. I also surprised the girls with a cute box with polish inside. They were confused why they were getting presents, but both said "thanks mom"! So glad I have involved them, as well...how fun. Love you.

Lisa notes... said...

I bought Reece's Cups today and put one on my husband's dresser and one on my daughter's bed. Then I made banana pudding for dessert. I'm really getting into this! ha.

But the BEST thing is this: last night when we went to bed, my husband looked at me and said, "I don't know what it is, but something seems different lately. You have more joy around me, and I really appreciate it." Woo-hoo! I wondered if he found out I was doing the Love Dare, but I didn't spill the beans just yet.

Tonight he told me thanks for giving him the king treatment.

This is good. Thanks, Stephanie, for keeping us inspired to love our men in godly ways.

Out in the Fields said...

I bought a big bag of my Hubbys favorite candy yesterday for that dare and today I called him and shared something I had heard that I knew would make him feel like he has a special place in the world. I'm so glad you did this Steph!!!

Melissa @ Breath of Life said...

My Day 3 was something small...he loves Coke & we don't usually have soft drinks in the house. So I bought him a bottle to take to school with him today. When I handed him the bag last night, he grinned like a kid and said, "What love!"

Day 4 is easy...we talk to each other numerous times a day on the phone, for no "real" reason.

Thanks for encouraging us in this dare!

Connie Lou said...

Love your challenging and loving dares! That is what I get for not checking on your blog more frequently, however, I am going to write them all down and DO THEM! I will report back..xoxo Connie