Tuesday, May 25, 2010

the performance trap..

I really like this picture..a simple ladder leading to a thick solid tree branch. I'm afraid of heights you see... so anything a couple feet off the ground turns me into a sobbing mess..I'm not kidding.. family members have been witness to this as I braved a tower climb (after much of what I like to call .. a discussion)..I got to the top and sunk to the floor and cried and could not be moved no matter the coaxing by others.. But, because I wanted to look like I could do it THIS time..I went ahead and did the climb and was humiliated that I got to the top and could not move...Sometimes fear drives us ....for me, at that time, it was the fear of what others would think of me and fear of heights that embarrassed me....can you imagine living like this? Maybe you do..I have..trying to do things that please others... at times I sacrifice my selfish nature for their selfish nature and called it love...believing that this is having a servants heart...if that's a servants heart..I'm not feeling it..maybe its my fault.. sometimes I do things as the way to the heart of another..only I end up feeling alone and emptied...I keep ceaselessly striving to please people..trying to get them to like me and not throw me under the bus when I don't meet their expectations.. I do alot of things because it's the right thing to do...but its not always beneficial to me and to those involved...the pressure to do what is expected alot of times has more to do with others approval rather that serving God...I'm thinking of those times when others have judged me and criticized my decisions according to what they believe is right and just.. I'm trying to please the very people who are critical and judgemental rather than making sound decisions according to what I believe to be true as I strive to be in agreement with the Lords will and not their will.... as I put my faith in the One who loves me unconditionally weather I do it the "right" way or just do my best or even fail.. who is there to fear? And, what is there to fear? I will just do the daily climb..in faith and not be brought to despair by others ...I think that's where I will find joy..in serving Him...and maybe the rest will just fall into place..I gotta be like this ladder and lean on the thick solid branch trusting it will support me as I climb...and face my fears as I go...and look back knowing I did the best I could with what I had... thanks for stopping by! love ya mean it Stephanie

14 comments:

HeddyShea said...

love your post, and the photo!
xo
shs

Oklahoma Granny said...

What a great analogy for your photo. Wonderful message for everyone!

Uncovered Ruby said...

Stephanie...this is an incredible post. In Ecclesiastes 1:9, "There is no new thing under the sun," your struggle with approval from others is nothing new to me! I know in my heart, that my Lord's view of me is more important than any person here and yet I still strive to be liked and be a people pleaser. It's exhausting isn't it? And it turns me into someone that Christ didn't intend...we're already His beloved and we're told to call ourselves nothing less than what He calls us...wow, to get that through my thick head! Help me with my unbelief Lord. Thank you for sharing Stephanie, you're not alone. Lisa

Marydon Ford said...

Stephanie, your write & the photo are fabulous ... beautiful!

Have a lovely weekend holiday.
TTFN Hugs, Marydon

FlowerLady said...

What a great post!

FlowerLady

Out in the Fields said...

Preach it Sistah!!!

1 Funky Woman said...

In a word splendid, and such a lovely picture!

Kolein said...

Yes. Yes. Yes.

I want to be a servant that hears and obeys my God with my whole heart.

This post came at the most perfect time. It is exactly what I have been in the throws of these last few weeks. I struggle constantly with not wanting to be a failure in God's eyes.

Thank you,
~Kolein

Windy Ridge said...

YEP

Dianna said...

The performance trap...ahhh, yes, I've been there...for the majority of my life. How liberating it is when we begin to realize who we are IN Him. As the chains of bondage of others expectations begin to drop, we realize a true peace and joy in our spirits!

Thank you, Stephanie, for such a honest post! You put it down beautifully.

Anonymous said...

love the picture. looks awesome

Emom said...

Thank you for this post....it hit the spot with me today.....smiles.

Cara @ Whimsy Smitten said...

What a well-timed message for your readers, and a reminder of our very human need for our Father's guiding hand upon us. Lean in His strength and realize that He delights in you.

I just love your blog and am looking forward to keeping up with you in the future. I'm over at whimsysmitten.blogspot.com.

Thanks for inspiring me to remember the place serving others to serve God needs to have in my busy life -- not to focus on all the things I often think are so important that will leave no lasting impression upon this world. I appreciate your words, today, new friend. :)

Debra@Common Ground said...

Stephanie, loved hearing your thoughts today. The photo is wonderful and your words so very true. We find real happiness and fulfillment when we walk in what we know God is leading us to do, not listening to the crowd.
xo,
Debra