love dare/ day 4 / Thougthfulness

I am loving your comments ladies!! Your all doing great! Sounds like some wonderful things are happening! It is exciting for me to hear the details of what you doing! Good ideas..like Karen, I love that you left a message on the mirror! And Julie, nice going sending that picture message across the miles! Lisa, doing this on your daughter is excellent! As for me, today I hardly get to see my man so we have been talking on the phone when he gets breaks..its been great..I can tell in his voice that he is happy and excited to share his day..my attitude helps alot..he is feeling the support and that helps make all the sacrifice doable..giving of self feels great for everyone. Are you ready for the next dare? I am..lol Day 4

How precious also are your thoughts to me..How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.-Psalm 139:17-18

Love is thoughtful

When you first fell in love, being thoughtful came naturally. You spent hours dreaming of what your loved one looked like,wondering what he or she was doing, rehearsing impressive things to say, then enjoying sweet memories of the time you spend together, you honestly confessed,"I cant stop thinking about you."

But for most couples, things begin to change after marriage, the wife has her man; the husband has his trophy. The hunt is over and the pursuing done. You drift into focusing on you job, your friends, your problems, your personal desires, yourself. After awhile you unintentionally begin to ignore the needs of your mate. If you don't learn to be thoughtful, you end up regretting missed opportunities to demonstrate love. Thoughtlessness is a silent enemy to a loving relationship.

Lets be honest. Men struggle with thoughtfulness more that women. A man can focus like a laser on one thing and forget the rest of the world. Whereas this can benefit him in that one area, it can make him overlook other things that need his attention. A woman, on the other hand, is more multi-conscious, able to maintain an amazing awareness of many factors at once. She can talk on the phone, cook, clean house and know where the kids are all at once. Adding to this, a woman also thinks relationally.

Both of these are examples of how God designed women to complete their men. As God said at creation, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him."(Genesis 2:18) Don't ya love that we are suitable? But these differences also create opportunities for misunderstanding.

Men tend to think in headlines and say exactly what they mean.. But women think and speak between the lines. They tend to hint. A man often has to listen for what is implied if he wants the full meaning.If a couple doesn't understand this about one another, the fallout can result in endless disagreements. He is frustrated wondering why she speaks in riddles and doesn't just come out and say things. She is frustrated wondering why he is so inconsiderate and doesn't add two and two together and just figure it out. Oh mylanta!

Love requires thoughtfulness- on both sides- the kind that builds bridges through the constructive combination of patience, kindness, and selflessness. Love teaches you how to meet in the middle, to respect and appreciate how your spouse uniquely thinks. A husband should listen to his wife and learn to be considerate of her unspoken messages. A wife should learn to communicate truthfully and not say one thing while meaning another. But to often you become angry and frustrated instead, following the destructive pattern of "ready, shoot, aim." You speak harshly now and determine later if you should have said it. But the thoughtful nature of love teaches you to engage your mind before engaging your lips. Love thinks before speaking. It filters words through a grid of truth and kindness.

When was the last time you spent time thinking of how you could better understand and demonstrate love to your spouse? What immediate need can you meet? What is the next event (birthday, anniversary, holiday) can you be preparing for?

Today's Dare

Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do to help them.

Questions to answer:

• What did you learn about yourself or your spouse by doing this today?
• How could this become a more natural, routine, and genuinely helpful part of your lifestyle?

The photo I chose on this post is a example of how much care and thought we might put into a special event or time even our homes..what if we took this much care on our spouse? How beautiful it would be! A delight! I have assumed that only women are doing this dare..if there are men out there doing this..you rock! Hey, if you think this is something that your friends would enjoy post about it! Remind your followers too! Blessings to each of you! Love ya mean it! Stephanie

flickr image excerpts Alex and Stephen kendrick