love dare day 3

What an amazing time we are having! You ladies are inspiring! Well done on your love dare! Today, my specific act of kindness was to bring Danny his favorite candy bar home. I had to stop and grab a few things from the store and in the checkout I thought "hey this would be unexpected" So I grabbed one up and was rewarded with a smile..love that. I do have to confess I was a bit tired today and felt cranky as the day went on..my dog has been barking for two days straight and I have become a bit edgy.. I found that I too was getting a bit snippy and once again caught myself grumbling about that "stupid dog". My hubby made a comment and I started to nip a bit and stopped..I realized that things that are out of my control are causing me to be unkind. wow! How often does this happen and I don't even realize it? Yes! This is working! I want to be honest here because if we all behaved as we should this dare wouldn't even be necessary... lol How often do we stop, really look and correct ourselves? I wonder how often we justify and don't "count" what we do but have no problem naming the faults of others? I raised my hand just so ya know! lol Dare 2- thank you..you taught me that things I cant control dont justify my being cranky..lol day 3

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.

Romans 12:10

Love is not selfish

"If there were ever a word that basically means opposite of love, it is selfishness. It is something that is in all of us from birth. Almost every sinful action ever committed can be traced back to selfish motive. It is a trait we hate in other people but justify in ourselves. Yet, you cannot point out the ways your spouse is selfish without admitting that you can be selfish too. That would be hypocritical.

Why do we have such a low standard for ourselves but high expectations for our mate? the answer is painful..we are all selfish.

When a husband puts his interests, desires and priorities in front of his wife, that's a sign of selfishness. When a wife constantly complains about the time and energy she spends meeting the needs of her husband, that's a sign of selfishness. But, "love does not seek it's own"(1 Corinthians 13:5)

Loving couples-those who are enjoying the full purpose of marriage are bent on taking good care of the other flawed human they get to share life with. That's because true love looks for ways to say "yes."

One ironic aspect of selfishness is that even generous actions can be selfish if the motive is to gain bragging rights or receive a reward. If you do even a good thing to deceitfully manipulate your husband or wife, you are still being selfish.....the bottom line is that you either make the decision out of love for others or love for yourself...

When you prioritize the well being of your mate, there is a resulting fulfillment that cannot be duplicated by selfish actions. This is a benefit that God created and reserves for those who genuinely demonstrate love. The truth is, when you relinquish your rights for the sake of your mate, you get a chance to lose yourself to the greater purpose of marriage.

Nobody knows you better than your spouse. And that means no one will be quicker to recognize a change when you deliberately start sacrificing your wants and wishes to make sure his or hers needs are being met.

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conciet, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important that yourselves"(Philippians 2:3).

Today's dare

Whatever you put your time energy and money into will become more important to you. Its hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with reastraning from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says" I was thinking of you today."

Sorry it took so long to post but I want to fill you in with how I am doing too! Blessings for your day! Thanks for stopping by! love ya mean it! Stephanie

flickrimage/book excerpts from Alex and Stephen Kendrick

love dare day 2

I love it!!!! Thanks so much to you gals that are checking in to let me know how the first day of the love dare went!!!! Please anyone who wants to check in.. even to hold yourself accountable.. do it! I love, love, love to hear that your all being blessed!!! Today, I did good too..I found myself making a sarcastic remark and caught myself and we both laughed so hard!! Danny is giddy with all this attention he is getting..what a goof ..he already knows I'm doing this so half the fun is when I "catch" myself doing the dare! lol Day 2

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Chris also has forgiven you...Ephesians 4:32

Love is kind

"Kindness is love in action. The Bible keys in on the importance of kindness:"Do not let kindness and truth leave you: bind them around your neck,write them on the tablets of your heart. So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man." Proverbs 3:3-4

Kindness in four basic core ingredients:

• Gentleness: Operating from here, you tend to treat your spouse carefully. Your sensitive. Tender. Knowing even as you rebuke or challenge, you make it as easy to hear as possible. You speak truth in love.
• Helpfulness:being kind means you meet the needs of the moment. Kindness graces the wife with the ability to serve her husband without worrying about her rights. kindness makes a husband curious to discover what his wife needs, then motivates him to be the one who steps up and ensures those needs are met- even if his are put on hold.
• Willingess: Kindness inspires you to be agreeable. instead of being obstinate, reluctant or stubborn, you cooperate and stay flexible. A kind husband ends thousands of arguments by his willigness to listen first rather than demand his own way.
• Initiative: Kindness takes the first step. Be the one to smile first, serve first, forgive first. Kindness doesn't require the other to get his or her act together before showing love.

Jesus creatively described the kindness of love in His parable of the Good Samaritan. When years of racism had caused strife and division, one act of kindness brought two enemies together, Gently. Helpfully. If it is difficult to demonstrate love when you feel little to no motivation. Remember love in its truest sense is not based on feelings rather, love determines to show thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward. you will never learn to love until you learn to demonstrate kindness..."

Today's Dare

In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

When you have complete today's dare answer these questions:

• What discoveries about love did you make today?
• What specifically did you do in this dare?
• How did you show kindness?

There it is! Blessing to you all and thanks for stopping by! Love ya mean it! Stephanie

imageflickr /book excerpts from kendrick, Alex and Stephen

love dare. Day one

I want to start this challenge with a few things to let you know how I am going to do each days dare. I will, on the night before each challenge, post the next days dare. So, todays dare was posted Sunday night. My motivation is to be done by, on, or near February 14, Valentines day. Even if you don't start on day 1, please feel free to join the dare at any time. Also, if you want to share how you are doing please do so in the comments as everyone can benefit and we can encourage each other as we go! DAY 1

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift if prophecy, and know all the mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.....1 Corinthians 13:1-3

Love is patient

Today is the first day of the Love Dare challenge. As we follow the book written by Stephen and Alex Kendrick we must acknowledge that we cannot do this on our own accord..but with the help of the Holy Spirit we are able to see ourselves as we are..sinners in need of grace. That is why patience is a perfect place to start...

Love will inspire you to become a patient person because you desire to be loved. We all do. It motivates us to go against our selfishness and be selfless. "Love always does what is best for others and can empower us to face the greatest of problems. When you choose to be patient, you respond in a positive way to a negative situation. You are slow to anger. You choose to have a long fuse instead of a short temper.Rather than being restless and demanding, love helps you to settle down and begin to show mercy to those around you. It is a choice to command your emotions rather than allowing your emotions to control you. Anger is usually caused when a strong desire for something is mixed with disappointment or grief. It is often and emotional reaction that flows out of our own selfishness, foolish or evil motives. (ouch. right?)

Patience, however, makes us wise. It doesn't rush to judgement but LISTENS to what the other person is saying. I like how the authors put it here: Patience stands at the doorway where anger is clawing to burst in, but waits to see the whole picture before passing judgement. Patience allows your spouse to be human. It understands that everyone fails. When a mistake is made, it chooses to give them more time than they deserve to correct it." I want to say here as a note that sometimes patience is letting go of your spouse and letting God do the work that is needed..some things take the power of God to fix and we can get in the way..being patient while the Lord takes over can be the challenge.. just to let go and let God!

So, moving on.."What would the tone and volume of your home be like if you tried this biblical approach: "See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another" 1 Thessalonians 5:15

"Few do patience well, and none of us do it naturally. But wise men and women will pursue it as an essential ingredient to their marriage relationship. That is a good starting point to demonstrate true love."

Today's dare

The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you will regret.

When you have completed today's dare reflect on these questions:

• Did anything happen today to cause anger towards your mate?
• Were you tempted to think disapproving thoughts and let them come out in words?

Ok. The first step is always the bravest I say..I wish you the best as you take today's challenge..please share with us if you can how you did and what you learned..we can really encourage each as we take each day at a time..Thanks for stopping by! love ya mean it! Stephanie

imageflickr

take the love dare challenge!

The Love Dare Challenge

Are you up for a dare? A love dare? I would like to host a Love Dare challenge every day until February 14! For forty days we will- with the guidance of the Love Dare book by Stephen and Alex Kendrick with Lawrence Kimbrough, be challenged to commit one day at a time to enriching our marriage in a positive way..the challenge can be difficult on days where you feel like the last thing you wanna do is bless your man..however..it is a look at ourselves and how we impact our marriages on a daily basis...you may find out more about yourself than you ever realized..the first page in the book gives a warning..and here it is...

Receive this as a warning. This forty day journey cannot be taken lightly. It is a challenging and often difficult process, but an incredibly fulfilling one. To take this dare requires a resolute mind and a steadfast determination. It is not meant to be sampled or briefly tested, and those who quit early will forfeit the greatest benefits. If you will commit to a day at a time for forty days, the results could change your life and your marriage..consider it a dare, from others who have done it before you.

I love how the authors write "It will take courage. If you accept this dare, you must take the view that instead of following your heart, you are choosing to lead it. Jeremiah 17:9 says "the heart is more deceitful than all else"and it will always pursue what is right at the moment...this dare is not about changing your spouse rather, this is a journey of exploring and demonstrating genuine love, even if your desire is dry and motives are low. Love is a decision and not just a feeling. It is selfless, sacrificial and transformational." Now these three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:13

My marriage has been blessed from day one..The Lord knew the man I would need would be a very special man..I love him deeply and have felt loved every day of my marriage with him and I thank God for him every day.. I would like to bless him in the next few weeks and challenge myself to find new and exciting ways to express it...I'm realistic... after all, I am a woman with five kids with daily duties I attend too..I wake up in ugly moods and am not fit for social consumption some days but, I soldier on realizing that without Christ I am unable..I hope that no matter where your marriage stands you can choose to give it to the Lord and be strengthened in the knowledge that He is in control. Please share this challenge on your blog and link back here so we can all do this together..I will start the challenge on Monday January 10th. I will do a summary of the chapter and give the dare at the end with some questions for you to answer. You may remain anonymous if you like...if you have a question you would like me to post, I can do that..comments and thoughts are always welcome. However, I will not respond to cruel and unusual inquires that do not benefit this blog and it readers. This challenge is here to inspire not to debate..if you have questions or suggestions please let me know..I'm excited for us! What do you think? Are you ready for a dare? Thanks for stopping by! love ya mean it! Stephanie

imageflickr

clean recipe

Sparklingly clear windows can be yours with a simple and inexpensive home recipe. Using a funnel, pour three tablespoons of ammonia and one tablespoon of vinegar into a one-quart screw-top or spray bottle, then fill with cool water. For safety, remember to label the bottle. If your windows have a low-e coating on the exterior surface of the glass, leave out the ammonia and increase the vinegar content from one to two tablespoons. Use newspaper to polish your windows! My mother in law Judy shared this recipe with us girls in the family and I'm sharing it with you!

I want to thank you commenter's for your thoughts and ideas..I love you gals! I just treated myself to the latest issue of Country Living magazine which is my favorite mag to read and became inspired! So, let see what comes of it all! Thanks for stopping by! love ya mean it! Stephanie

image / recipe paragraph from country living

I love this mirror image..its like you could walk right through it no? It says to me..look what's ahead, while it reflects back at me..funny isn't it? How mirrors work? I'm trying to be hopeful about 2011..but I can't seem to grasp it, like it seems everyone else has managed to do...I have been thinking about the things I would like to accomplish and do...I'm a bit overwhelmed..I think..I should like to improve my blog for one..but not sure how..would love to have a camera so I can use my images...it feels more personal and I feel inspired to do crafts and project to share with you..but since mine has given herself over to the grave..I have lost interest a bit...do you have any thoughts on this my friends? How are you doing with your blogs? Are you lost in blog land trying to be inspired too? I want blogging to be fun again....thanks for stopping by! love ya mean it! Stephanie
imageflickr

MONDAY after it all...2011 here i come....